Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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