it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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