She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just threw up on my dentist
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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