The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
