If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This house was built for laser tag.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
