real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
