dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
