i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
