It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
