Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
