bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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