we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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