What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
