Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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