what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Everclear isn't food dammit
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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