Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
