Duck Duck Cougar?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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