Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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