champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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