Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
