i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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