Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
