I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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