i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
