Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
