I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
