I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
