He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
