VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
