I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
