She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
