glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
