why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
