Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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