I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
