So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
