I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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