I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
