All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
