You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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