I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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