dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
