C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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