Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
