i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
