So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
