he told me I talked like a deaf person
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
there is puke in my bra ... again
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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