Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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