my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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