I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
