I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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