We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just tell him i said nine months
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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